Wednesday, October 21, 2009

Invitations to events that already happened. A long time ago.

Found these in the "drafts" folder of my email...which apparently has never been cleansed. Do I discard nothing? And why aren't both these events happening next week?

1. Subject line: ORGANATRON

Bizarre! Outlandish! Terrifying!

It's "organic" improvisational comedy at the Upright Citizen's Brigade Theater.

Organatron has it all for the discerning theatergoer: dance, poetry, opera, monsters, mayhem, doo-wop, ritualistic sacrifice, and lots of creeping about on the floor and making odd noises.

Watch their evolution from primitive, amoebic lifeforms...into comedic gods!

Two nights only:
Wednesdays, 9/12 and 9/19
Both nights at the absurdly late hour of 11:00 p.m. (People who wish to kill time until 10:59 by drinking are encouraged to do so.)

The Upright Citizen's Brigade Theater
161 West 22nd Street (btw 6/7 avenues)

For other shows and info., check out

Please note: The troop will be clad in form-fitting black unitards and snoods*

* Not guaranteed. Snoods and unitards may be purely imaginary and used only as a snare and an enticement to the unwary. No money will be refunded in the event that we are actually wearing Old Navy sale bin items.

2. Subject line: Boo(ze)!

Hail fellow Brooklynites (and those few fearless Manhattanites who dare ford the great, foaming, sea-monster-infested East River)!

Join us for a mid-week Halloween birthday maelstrom in the borough that rocks the most...Brooklyn, New York.

Date: Wednesday, October 31, 2001

First Location:
Located on trendy, fashionable Smith Street between Wyckoff and Warren
(East side of the street)
Closest Subway: The F or G to the Bergen St. stop is about 1 block away.
There is no sign; however, you can spot it by the red curtains in the window and the blue lights above the door. It has a red exterior.
We'll be there somewhere between 7-8 p.m.
I recommend their Sapphire and Tonics.

After much merriment (perhaps by around 10:00 p.m. or so) we shall be shuffling onward, but a few minutes away, to our...

Second location:
LAST EXIT (home of fruity martini-like concoctions with names like "The Gowanus" )
136 Atlantic Avenue btw. Clinton and Henry
Closest subway: 4/5, 2/3 at Borough Hall
(There's an N/R as well, but it's highly suspect, and may take you to unknown locations in Queens.)

I will no doubt be wearing what my brother recently described as "whatever offense against decency you'll be calling a costume this year." So fear not--don your fright wigs, ballet tutus, flying monkey wings, pita-bread brassieres, Scottish kilts, and rubber nose extensions--you will all be accepted! So will any friends you choose to drag along.

Questions and complaints about this excessively long e-mail, or about any aspect of my personality: call me.

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