The Same 10 Questions I Always Ask Myself, Part the Fifth

1. What are you wearing?
Shorts in a size I don't wanna be. And a shirt that narrowly escaped the latest Reflux Rage of the Incredible Spittling Infant.

2. What's the nature of today's hypochondria?
Sleep deprivation will lead to foolish errors in judgement which will imperil my life.

3. What was today's workout?
At least 7,000 paces through the Bronx Zoo.

4. How do you do what you do and stay so sweet?
You, dear reader, are all that stands between me and a bout of the nasties.

5. What's that burning smell?
The neighbors who never invite us over not for any reason not that we want to consort with them anyway are grilling something tasty again. Grrr.

6. If you were an animal, what kind would you be?
A maniacal kookaburra with a squirrel monkey for a pet.

7. What are you drinking, and why?
Shiraz from Australia. I tried Maker's Mark but it offended.

8. In what ways hast thou offended?
I dissed my home city of New Ro and for that I am sorely repentant. I started a big tire fire of controversy filled with slutty accessories and dollar store items!

9. What's the next big thing?
That's "things" plural, and the answer is my big boobies. They are bigger than you!

10. Music selection?
The Fix is in. Great soundtrack to a movie that doesn't exist yet!