Tuesday, November 18, 2008

Dead Rodents "R" Us

Today, my nanny reported that she had discovered a dead squirrel next to the (dead) tree in the backyard. It was lying on its back with limbs curled, affecting a realistic "dead" look. The deceased creature did not respond to any noise or human traffic. It lay there for several hours, proving its deadness. Looking to spare the boys, our nanny forbade them from backyard play.

Later, she returned to find the squirrel had vanished. Foul play? Is this something to do with Creepy the Squirrel, our basement friend? Or was the squirrel carted off by something more formidable and carnivorous? WHY WOULD A SQUIRREL CORPSE VANISH?

I have to go to Memphis tomorrow and, due to new corporate budget restrictions, am staying in the Crowne Plaza. I have just read a series of reviews that list "splattered poo around bathroom, an unidentifiable stench, a hooker in the elevator, and a decayed and rotting rodent in the hotel room." Hookers are one thing, but a decayed rodent? That is very bad! That is a very bad thing to have in one's hotel room!

Is this where cost-cutting measures have left us? First, they cut the coffee service. Next, the holiday party. I can live with that. But decayed and deceased rodents in one's hotel room go a step too far. This shall not stand!


Anonymous said...

I heard "varmint stew" is a delicacy in those parts. Yum!

Anonymous said...

I am happy to hear that you ripped out the hideous railing in the entry. It deserved it. BTW, Rich and I spent our first night as husband and wife in the Crowne Plaza in W.P. Lovely, no but okay aside from the weird kiddie pageant going on at the same time. Yes, it was as bad as I could have imaged it would be. I try not to be judgmental but I do not think I'm going to far into the brink when I say . . . those are some bad parents. So, does this make the Crowne Plaza a bad hotel. Perhaps yes.

Gail C.

Anonymous said...

I didn't know you wanted to KEEP that dead rodent! I feel badly about making it into a hat, and giving it to you this Christmas--yes, very badly indeed.

Old NH