Scat!

Some sample audio specimens picked up in our household over a period of two days, beginning 5:56 a.m. 1/2/09 and ending 6:46 p.m. 1/4/09. The specimens were reported to be the work of a 5-year-old male and a 3-year-old male. These items are a representative sample that is approximately 1/16% of the total extruded over the course of the time period noted.

Put your elbow in the potty; it's fun! It's fun!
Put your buttocks in the potty; it's fun! It's fun!
Put your head in the potty; it's fun! It's fun!
[This was followed by screams and an incident in which the younger brother's fingers were slammed in the bathroom door.]

Come to my doody par-ty. Come to my doody par-ty.
Doink! I'm a turd!
[Sung while in traffic on I-95.]

Poop raining down from the sky, oh yeah!
Poop raining down from the sky, oh yeah!
Next it's gonna land on your head.
And cover you in poop! Even your nostrils will be made out of poop!
[Still stuck in traffic on I-95.]

You're invited to see
my poop in the toilet!
You're invited to see
my poop in the toilet!
[This was followed by a plea to send real invitations to a "Poop Party" hosted by the 5-year-old. The Poop Party would take place in our backyard and would include a game called "pin the tail on the poop." I was forced to write the invitations but have refrained from sending them, claiming that I "can't find any stamps." Soon he will be onto me and you may get such an invitation in the mail. Please ignore it, at all costs.]