Friday, January 9, 2009

The Word "Atop" Is Mentioned Twice Here

16 Random Things About Me [too lazy to write a new blog post so using this]

1. I once danced atop a fire truck to the tune of "Low Rider." I had red feathers glued all over my body at the time. Don't ask.

2. As a child, I forced my pet (feral) rabbit to try to climb a tree. She did not succeed. In the same year, I charged guests at my sister's wedding 50 cents to go to the garage to view the rabbit in its hutch.

3. I cannot ice skate for beans. The last time I tried, I fell and bruised my cheek.

4. I still find poop funny, but increasingly less funny as my children's amusement with the topic grows. I'm sure there is a math formula to represent this.

5. I like chicken pot pies. Especially the "Mrs. Budd's" brand.

6. I went to high school with Lyle Menendez. He was a dope. Once, in math class, I saw his weiner poking out of his ultra-white tennis shorts. It was traumatic and creepy.

7. I have been known to make "rutabaga noises." If asked, I will deny this.

8. In high school, my friends and I invented an evil bunny character named Lumpen. He had red, carroty hair and a mole underneath one eye. And he said things like "bok, bok, bok!"

9. My friends have dogs and horses with the same names as my children.

10. My sister and matron of honor vomited (repeatedly) on the morning of my wedding with a dreadful hangover.

11. I write snarky articles for and was once told in the comments section to "get out of this town and go back to Brooklyn."

12. There is a portrait of a devil in our closet. Red, with horns. Like, the actual devil.

13. I could eat a whole bag of Cheetos if given half a chance.

14. My brothers used to dare me to put "the entire sandwich in my mouth at once," and I always complied, with ill effects.

15. One of my favorite things is a figurine I made out of three rocks glued together. The rock on top looks like an egg, and so I call the creature "eggy."

16. I once leapt atop the bull statue down on Wall Street and rode the poor bugger. Now look what's happened.

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