Monday, July 23, 2007

My German Changeling Child

Is it possible that my second child was switched at birth with a child of German origin? Several signs point to yes. For one, he requests "mein vasser," rather than the more Americanized "my water." Everything is "mein," in fact. "Mein Schtinky Teddy!" he demands, wanting his bear that smells like a ripe cheese dipped in a day-old yogurt bath.

He also has a rather strange way of pronouncing the sound "sh" or "ch." It sounds like he is gargling boogers in his throat. Cheese is "schgkhghneese." One of his favorite phrases is "schgkghnugga schgkghnugga schgkghnoo schgkghnoo," which, roughly translated, is "chugga chugga choo choo." The sound is impossible to commit to print and requires an audio file, which I certainly haven't learned how to place on my blog.

The third fact is that he was a rather wizened, empurpled lump at birth and now has an Aryan complexion and a head of blond hair. So unfortunate was his appearance that I said something to the effect of "we'll love him anyway." But he turned cute. Suspicious, jah? A A schgkghangeling for certain!

He is also extremely fond of sausage.


Anonymous said...

Ve would like to dizcuss your kinder mit you. He is perfect for the lebensborn program here in Konnectikut. Blonde, blue eyes..... sehr schön. Please kall us at once.

Jenny Phresh said...

Do you provide sufficient pork product in your program? The child must eat enormous quantities of pork product.