Tuesday, July 17, 2007

The "other" party pony

I have been checking out my alter ego and while I have nothing against ponies, this pony seems to offer "services" that seem vaguely distasteful. The pony offers different "packages" [quotes not mine] depending on one's needs, and suggests that it really LOVES TO PARTY. All night? Or just for an hour? Either way!

I am going to hell for those comments. That pony brings love and joy to kids everywhere.

I wanted a pony. I never got one. I'm still mad about it. I never even got a pony to come to my birthday party! All I got, for my Halloween birthday, was a brother-in-law dressed as a monster and my friend Molly Ishler (yes, sister of Anne!) to lie in a faux coffin (really a trunk) with white face makeup. I had just had knee surgery and was reduced to sitting at a table and inducing wee guests to dip their hands in cooked spaghetti (brains!) and peeled grapes (eyeballs!) with my gimpy leg stuck out before me to trip the unwary. I did not get to offer my little friends any special, customized "packages" or "rides" courtesy of a sweet lil' pony.

I like ponies!

And how did I get the name for this blog, one wonders? OK, OK, so I had a Pony Club and styled myself as Pony O (my former surname initial) and this went on until I was FOURTEEN years old. All is revealed. I also played with dolls until the same age. More is revealed. I also...never mind, I'll leave off. I have some dignity.

Of course, the classic
pony reference> came from Seinfeld.

But the thing that really burns me is that the OTHER party pony has a logo...a smarmy little pony with a feckless little smile. I want a logo, too! Anyone who wants to draw one for me is invited to enter my contest. All submissions become the property of ME and any entity to which I assign the rights. Contest ends when I have found just the right logo, even if I have to draw it myself, with its spindleshanks legs and bed-head mane and cock-eyes.

I said a dirty word.


Anonymous said...

mmmm.... dirty words! i love them! "cock". you used it! and "fuck", which you didn't use but i wish you had; we all know that's what party ponies like to do, right?

Anonymous said...

Shame on you for hurting ponies by making them party! They have no business anywhere near parties of any kind. They are beautiful, noble creatures that were born free..... as free as the grass grows, as free as the wind blows....