Wednesday, October 10, 2007

Fondue, Anyone?

This item was recently sent to me under the title "Another Chinese Toy Recall." Of course, this slur against the Chinese people shall not go unnoticed. They are right now developing a new series of toys, all lead-paint free, in order to avenge honor and give pleasure to rapacious American consumer. Look for these in your Christmas stockings, kiddos!

Stacey Skates ‘n’ Stabs
My Size Coffin
Tubby, the Stuffed Beet
Make-Your-Own-Sausage Factory
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtleheads
Little Wiener, the Penis Doll (with lifelike noises!)
My First Taxidermy Kit
Littlekins Power Saw 'n' more
Thomas the Tanked Engine (comes with engraved Island of Sodor flask)
Dora the Down-There Explorer
Catch-a-Poo Home Fishing Kit
Fuck-a me Elmo


Anonymous said...

You forgot about the revival being planned for that age-old classic: ""The Craw."

Anonymous said...

This reminds me of that Polish artist who created a Lego concentration camp:

Here's an ethics question—if you're creating a little Sobibor kid's toy, is it okay to use lead paint?

Anonymous said...

Don't forget!

The "Just One Chance" Bomb Disposal Work-Kit

Hissy, My First Cobra

The Merry Poppins-Brand "I Can Fly!" Magic Bumbershoot (for use about tenth floor only)

The "I Hate Oatmeal!" Arsenic Shaker

Thinner Skull In Ten Days Head Vice

One-Way Space Helmet (plastic bag and thick rubberband)

The "Butt Bang!" Rectal Fireworks


"A Toddler's Guide to Stealing & Driving Cars on I-95"

NH uber alles

Jenny Phresh said...

OK, anonymous 3, it is time to start your own RIVAL BLOG. I dares ye!

Anonymous said...

My favorite David Letterman toy:

Mob-controlled Lego construction set