Wednesday, March 16, 2011

Doctor, Lawyer, Winkie Manufacturer

My son's second grade class is doing a community project, in which they are tasked with interviewing local workers. They asked for parent volunteers to go into the classroom and be interviewed by the children, and I said I would do it. I went in this morning.

Thank goodness my many phobias do not include extemporaneous speaking; the children hammered with me with relentless questions that reminded me of bad job interviews, including:

How do the goods and services you provide impact the community in positive ways?
How do you see your career changing in the next ten years?
Do you like horror movies?

No sooner did I answer one question than 10 more hands shot up. Later, I asked my son what other careers different parents had.

"Well, this one dad makes fake winkies."

"What do you mean, 'fake winkies'?"

"He makes them for people whose real winkies have fallen off in an accident or something."

"Do you mean protection for winkies, like when kids play sports?"

"No, real fake winkies! It's a fake winkie company. They provide goods and services that help the community. Like, if you lose your winkie, you get a new one. The company is called Hot Shots."

Hot Shots? They named their prosthetic penis company hot shots?

Then he said: "We learned the Winkie Block. Hawww!" And he covered his privates with his hands in a sudden crossed-arm motion. "That protects you from losing your winkie to an unfortunate accident!"

"That's not such good business sense," I said. "For a company that makes money out of providing fake winkies?"

I stared at him really hard but he did not flinch. I still suspect that I have been duped.

And this completes my trifecta of posts about weenies and winkies! Thank you and good night, Mamaroneck!


Sam Southworth said...

I am stunned, and still recovering. Now, it's a cross-body hand block? Just to be clear...

Anita said...


I love this blog. I never leave without smiling. Jenny, you are the spoonful of sugar in this world of icky medicine. Snort.

Jenny Phresh said...

Thank you! I always aim to please. And if someone piddles their pants from reading, that is my greatest happiness.