|Supermoon™ eats a small city.|
Although I thought about flinging the curtains aside in Youngest Son's room while he slumbered, revealing Supermoon™, I did not. I expected him to scream and shield his poor eyes from the thing. "It's a grotesque orb of omnipotent light!" he would have cried, in his babyish slur. "I say NO. Go 'way!"
To my immense pleasure, Supermoon™ has proven to be an aid in needful times. As soon as it rose with its megalomaniacal glow, it quickly tore the back of our house off, reduced it to rubble, and replaced it with a brand new kitchen. It chose Corian ® countertops and a really nice Wolf gas stove.
"Thanks, Supermoon™!" I cried, with happy heart, but it was not done. I noted that it had captivated the several teenagers whom, late last night, had attempted a "ding, dong, ditch" maneuver on our elderly neighbor. They were walking toward the sea, completely in the sway of Supermoon™, and will soon be swimming vainly toward distant Long Island. Ah, Supermoon™, ye are powerful.
Supermoon™ also has a habit of tearing up sidewalks and uprooting trees, which is rather naughty. But Supermoon™ cannot be blamed, for it has been 18 long years since it asserted such power. Supermoon™has been making a lot of political connections during that dormant period and is now ready to overtake the world. It will start by getting larger, larger, and larger and then eating your grandmother and all her china and underthings!
Supermoon™, I want you to know that I am thankful for my new kitchen and I did not slander you, even during the times when you were but a wee sliver. Please do not eat me. I think you are very grand and bright. You make me want to use ALL CAPS. youcause miusspellings and typofoggragfical eorors. Supermoon™, come back in 18 more years and I shall cook you a dinner on my fine new gas stove! By then, the sidewalk will have been repaired and I will most certainly need you to deliver a new Sub-Zero refrigerator.