Thursday, July 14, 2011

Panty-Meme Pony

Now I've gone and cooked my own goose. After several of us taunted, bullied, and threw root vegetables at Greenwoman on Twitter, she went ahead and rose to the challenge of creating a meme entirely based on the theme of panties. That's right, undergarments.

I'd rather not go into the sordid history of this meme.

The rules are, of course, copy the questions, answer them, and tag others to do the same.

What do you call your panties/underwear/undergarments? Do you have any commonly used nicknames for them?
I call them Turtledove, Str├╝mgang, and Misty.

Have you ever had that supposedly common dream of being in a crowded place in only your underwear?
Yes, and the worst part is that I was wearing them on my head—not on my nethers!

What is the worst thing you can think of to make panties out of?
Brussels sprouts, rutabaga shavings, and discarded vampire fangs.

If you were a pair of panties, what color would you be, and WHY?
Puce. Puce Panties is pleasantly and pulchritudinously alliterative!

Have you ever thrown your panties/underwear at a rock star or other celebrity? If so, which one(s)? If not, which one(s) WOULD you throw your panties/underwear at, given the opportunity?
I would throw my (clean and freshly-laundered) panties at Greenwoman.

You’re out of clean panties. What do you do?
If I dare
I shall wear no underwear
The wind will whip and whistle
Through my nether hair
If I dare

[too bad I missed the Poetry Schmoetry meme, eh?]

Are you old enough to remember Underoos? If so, did you have any? Which ones?
Yes! And I never got them! Just like I never got a Big Wheel and a PONY. Mom? Mom?!! Oh yeah, you don't read my blog (and don't even know about it) which is why I can say "fuckity fuck fuck" without worrying. But, mother, you are growing on in years. Perhaps it is time to introduce you to the frenetic author you birthed from your loins.

If you could have any message printed on your panties, what would it be?
Liquor in the front. Poker in the rear.

How many bloggers does it take to put panties on a goat?

Tag Four People and tell them why you are being so cruel to them.       
1. Cherie of Ready. Write. Go. Because she is a marvelous member of the ever-ridiculous and awesome GOAT POSSE. (#goatposse)
2. BethanyBecause she will bring it in all the ways that it should be broughten! (Dirty martini ruins grammar.)
3. Tracey Hansen. If it involves panties and perversion, she may not be left out of it.
3. Suzanne Payne. This charming woman keeps showing up on Twitter with funny comments, and now she must pay the price of the panty meme!


greenwoman said...

I will love you now and forever, mostly for the poem, but also partly for wearing the dream panties on your head.

Thanks for playing!

cherie said...

Oh no!!! My worst fear has come to pass (I seem to have a lot of fears, no? Rapture clowns, Bethany pantless, and now Puce Panties).

Btw, I have now tattoed your poem on my other heel.

Captcha word: Eurara

Er...I haven't a clue, really. It's probably what someone would say when they drink too much dirty martini and they meet Jujy Assbat on their way home, points to him, and slurs, "You! Ra...ra..." then promptly pass out at his feet.

Anita Grace Howard said...

Oh my holy pie. I love you on so many levels of love!

It hurts!! It hurts to laugh so hard!! There are so many beautifully warped things about this meme ... but I have limited time and space, so I will focus only on one:

The poem. It has won you an award for THE MOST ELOQUENT USE OF NETHER HAIR EVER!

Take a bow my dear. Oh, but hold onto the panties so they don't slide off your head.


P.S. GREAT choice of victims ... er ... nominees. Heh

Mandie Baxter said...

Oh my gosh. I laughed so hard too early in the morning. Great post!

tori said...


i've never heard that liquor/poker thing before but that is GROSS. thanks for that. currently making a rolling text screensaver for my boss...

traceyhansenwrites said...

Mine is up!

Andrew Leon said...

I now have your panty quote stuck in my head. I need to tell it to my wife, but there will be questions about whereit came from, and I don't know if I'm up to trying to explain a panty meme. Oh my!

Bethany C. said...

I'm pretty sure I was the back pair of legs in that on-the-back-pony picture. Lots of margaritas involved.

Yet ANOTHER amazing post by the magnificent Jenny Phresh! I say we submit your blog as your query letter--no agent can refuse this much geniusosity.