Tuesday, October 11, 2011

Mind the Gap!




Please do not feed sugar cubes to the rats on the subway. It causes them to smoke and play loud music.

If you step into the gap, you will be sucked quickly to Hell while the grey-faced people look on. Your tummy is unbecoming for a man your age and professional assignation.

Do not vomit hot dogs at the robotic device whilst prodding it in the duodenum with your finger in a rude and aggressive manner.

What about ponies? They do not poo in the streets!
If you do any of these bad things in this playground your head will immediately pop off like a spiked volleyball. You will also lose your feet, which are really ugly and have an oversized big toe, kind of like Uma Thurman's in Kill Bill.

9 comments:

Marewolf said...

MOVE YOUR BIG TOE!

I only dream of being half as clever and hilarious as you are, my little Jenny Phresh Face McGee. MWAH! :)

Angela V. Cook said...

Thank you for putting a smile on my face tonight :o) I needed that.

Beverly Diehl said...

Sometimes I wonder what alien signs would look like. Or trying to explain hairdressing to them: Human being extrude long strands of dead cells, which are then curled, dyed, and arranged in artistic patterns. Would they "get" it, perhaps have an equivalent? Inject scent into their saliva glands or something, so their breath smelled a certain way.

Okay, full moon and my brain is apparently turning into something weird. G'night Alice.

Mindy McGinnis said...

Hilarious. I definitely need to take pics of some country signs... they've got their own charm :)

Anita Grace Howard said...

ROTFL!! Ah, to just wear your Jenny-colored glasses ONCE and see through your warped eyes.

I LOVES YOU, my pony!

BTW, my word veri: nosesup. Not sure what that means, but I have no doubt you can make something spectacular of it. So there's your next challenge. HEE

The Rake said...

I'm only posting because the verification word is:

southe

Catherine Stine said...

Hey, what about hammer toes?

Kathryn Elliott said...

Intern just ran into my office to ensure I was not having an uncontrolled seizure of some sort. *giggle-snort-giggle!*

Stephanie said...

So funny. I've never realized how odd some of those public service pictures look. Thanks for the laugh.