Saturday, January 19, 2008

Bad Parenting Syllabus, Day One: Tell son he will be eaten by a lion

Day One: When your child is unusually naughty, read Maurice Sendak's Pierre: A Cautionary Tale, part of the Nutshell Library. Pierre is about a naughty little boy who keeps saying "I don't care" and is subsequently eaten by a hungry lion. The story ends well with the boy released and the lion staying on with the family as a weekend guest, but the little boy does spend part of the plot in the lion's tummy. Tell your boy that he will be eaten by a lion if he doesn't listen to mommy and daddy. Watch his eyes grow wide. Chortle with satisfaction. Learn to live with his subsequent fear of "wions."

More Bad Parenting tips arriving soon! Comes fully loaded with a healthy dose of remorse, self-recrimination, and extra savings coupons on future therapy for both child and parent.


Anonymous said...

As we all now know, at least tigers have the decency to wait until you're a belligerent teenager before they eat you.

Anonymous said...

Wun! Wun wittle wun! Wun wike the wind from de wion!!

Anonymous said...

Good Lord! I believe I saw this article in Bad Parenting Magazine! It also had a picture caption that said "Woe and behold!"
Well, at least it's not those tigers chasing old Sambo around the tree until they turn into butter...

Old New Hampshire