Valentines for Hillary?

I was out to dinner tonight with 5 people and we were struggling--each of us--to come up with even one, lone soul among all our New York friends and acquaintances who is a FAN and supporter of Hillary Clinton. No one could. Not one person. Then I realized that yes, I did know someone! A colleague at work. She likes Hillary, all right. But wait a minute...even she told me this very morning that she voted for Obama. The perfidy of it! Hillary's one known fan, a defector.

Yes, Hillary carried the state of NY, but in my numerous travels I have still not met one individual who likes her, nor one person who says that they voted for her. So, am I simply traveling in unusual circles? Are all the people I know similarly out-of-touch with the cadre of Hillary supporters that no doubt lurks behind every potted plant, in every coffee shop? So where are these people who are voting for Hillary? And more important, who are they?

Yes, older women--right. How much older? Are we talking severely doddering? Cane users? Lumpy, frumpy women of an uncertain age? Wig-wearing bed wetters? Soon enough I'll be "older" myself, but a few years on me won't make her crocodile tears seem suddenly charming.

Hispanics--right. See my friend Jack's comment on that phenomenon. Are there others? Aha! Maybe Bottle Gertie, the old crone who rambles up my street on recycling day with her shopping cart, looking for goodies. Both older and Hispanic! I'll wager her last tooth she likes Hillary. I'll bet Bottle Joe does, too. He's a man, but he looks like he'd like a "Vote Hillary" sweatshirt if I handed one to him.

Everyone I know, however, loathes her. Everyone they know also loathes her. So what's up? Have we been the victims of some cruel space-time ripple that has upended a bunch of southern yokels up here on voting day--who choose "Clinton" in the voting booth because the name "Obama" reminds them of that naughty, turban-headed Moooslim who knocked down our buildings? (The same lumpen swine who probably think "Barack" is another bomb-worthy country with WMDs hidden in the veggie patch and a swarthy leader at its helm.)

If you LOVE Hillary with a capital L, give-her-a-valentine, bumper sticker your arse with her face, bake a crumpet for her campaign kind of way, then please, write to me. I would like to say I know at least one person in the whole wretched state who carries a torch for the woman. At which point I will begin to expound upon Obama's massive ears (he can HEAR you, people!) and hopefully sway you to change your opinion.

As far as the rest of the country goes, I do know one woman in Vermont who likes Hillary. Everyone else I know across the whole massive nation loathes her.