Thursday, October 16, 2008

My Obsession With DJ Lance Rock Has Gone Too Far


I have spent an unseemly amount of time looking for the following items for my Halloween costume:

Fuzzy orange hat
Black, lensless Buddy-Holly style glasses
Orange tracksuit

This, all in the pursuit of transforming into the entity known as DJ Lance Rock, star of the children's show on Noggin, Yo Gabba Gabba! The show, which rightly should be called Yo Grabba Bong-a, features five weird, colorful monsters by the names of Toodee, Brobee, Foofa, Plex, and Muno. Stop pointing out that I know how to spell their names. My kindergartner made me spell them ALL last night so he could write them on scraps of paper.

DJ Lance Rock, an omnipotent sort of puppeteer, carries the group around in a case styled as a boombox, bringing them to life with the words “Yo Gabba Gabba!” and a slew of confetti. DJ Lance is so super-cool that not only do I want to be him, you will too…soon enough. He wears a clingy, lean little orange tracksuit circa 1972, white tennis shoes, and a fuzzy orange cap with goofy stars. And square black glasses. He’s a black dude with big, sparkly eyes. His teeth are admirably white. And he can dance! And so can you!

I like the monsters--they sing about nice things like good manners, and their dancing is infectious. Songs include "Don't bite your friends!", "There's a party in my tummy (so yummy, so yummy)" and "Jumpy Jump Jump"--a song with only those lyrics that goes on, and on, and on until you find yourself singing it over the breakfast eggs.

But it is DJ Lance Rock who, as deus ex machina, is the lifeblood of the whack-a-doodle world that is Yo Gabba Gabba. He’s up there in the heavens, grinning down at his little dildo-like monsters with a supremely beneficent air. He’s always happy. Why wouldn’t he be, looking that damn sweet in his orange tracksuit? Damn! Why was I not born under a different star—the star that pays you money for dancing around maniacally and grinning like a mad hatter?

I want to BE DJ Lance Rock. Halloween is coming.

At first, thinking that this show was hot! hot! hot! I imagined that costumes would be available online. But some knucklehead in marketing forgot to get that memo. I would have paid $29.95 for this costume, and I have paid that much thus far: Old Navy (orange garb), Brewers hardware (colored duct tape to make the stripes) and H & M (an orange scarf too ugly for words which I will fashion into a hat). Now, the sideburns and the glasses. They shall be mine.

I asked my son this morning if he thought that applying blackface would be going too far. "Yes, mommy," he said. "That would be going too far." And clearly, this has gone far enough.

Next up on Party Pony! A catalogue of Halloween costumes from years gone by.

6 comments:

Anonymous said...

Wow--now there's some serious insight into your world. You go, girl!
Do you have pictures of the Octomoose and others to illustrate the wonders of Halloween past? Yar!
Best,
Old NH

Anonymous said...

Try getting a fuzzy hat at
http://cgi.ebay.com/Girls-orange-fuzzy-hat-with-sunflower_W0QQitemZ170271560714QQcmdZViewItem?hash=item170271560714
You could take off the flower...

X-Stina's X-Ploits said...

I love it! You are too funny...it is true though that I tend to hum, "there's a party in my tummy, so yummy, so yummy..." while making dinner!

Jenny Phresh said...

Oh yes, I wore the costume today! For a Halloween parade! And everyone knew who I was.

Diana said...

ok, i just came across this blog.....realizing it was from last year, i now understand why you had so much trouble finding a dj lance costume. this year you would have NO trouble. lol. i TOO am obsessed with this show and am making my little 20 month old boy a dj lance costume. i do not like the one they sell and florida is WAY too hot to wear that one. so i've made everything but am having soooooo much trouble finding the glasses. at first i was going to buy the hat and glasses they have at the store, but i read reviews and it doesn't seem worth the $20 it sells for......no matter how much my little one LOVES the show.....so i had some furry orange fabric and made it myself. the only thing missing is the glasses. i'm very picky when it comes to dressing like a character. i always try to be as close as possible to the real thing.
if you read this......do you know where i can find Toddler size in those glasses??

btw, i too find myself humming or even singing all the gabba songs!
love your post!

Disco D said...

Great stuff!

I've ordered the DJ Lance Rock outfit.
Apparently, it's quite flimsy and made of cheap material.

I just need to find a place to buy the authentic glasses, belt, and sneakers too, if poss.

Any help, please?