Sunday, December 19, 2010

Sockpaws (TM): A Family Game for 2-4 players

When it's rainy or cold out, the boys and I often play a game we invented called Sockpaws(TM). It has proven so entertaining that I have decided to patent and market it so that others can enjoy this delightful and timeless pastime. I have included the "short version" of the rules here.

A family game for 2-4 players
Ages 2 and up

Begin the game by designating one of the younger players to be "Sockpaws." He or she who is Sockpaws shall wear socks on his or her hands. Sockpaws shall wear a foolish hat, and shall speak in strange whispers and monosyllabic tongues. Sockpaws shall be given a Light Saver as a weapon.

Another player shall be "Evil Baby." Every several minutes, Evil Baby will transform into Good Baby, but then will transform just as quickly back into Evil Baby. Upon transformation, Evil Baby will chase all the other players throughout the house and try to bite them. The other players will stay constantly on the alert should Evil Baby hove into view, and will never relax while in the company of Good Baby for fear that he may turn into Evil Baby without warning.

A third player will be "Mrs. Smithers." He or she shall commence to building a robot that will transport all four of the players to the Moon. While on the moon, they will encounter malevolent lunar jellyfish and egg-laying cats. Mrs. Smithers smokes a corncob pipe and sometimes wears a festive red scarf. She or he has the ability to play "Jingle Bells" on the piano. Mrs. Smithers' preferred weapon is also a Light Saver.

A fourth player, if one is available, shall be "YooCoo." YooCoo is in possession of a telescope which allows viewing of distant weather events and time-portal disturbances. YooCoo is designated as the keeper and protector of Ziggy, a shape-shifting Karate master who appears in the form of a tangled red wig or a "bite sized" Milky Way candy bar, depending on the day and hour. Ziggy is all powerful, and tells all the others in the game what to do. As long as one follows Ziggy's instructions (which must be translated by a helpful transliteration machine built by Mrs. Smithers) the game of Sockpaws (TM) will be incredibly easy to follow.

Those who send me $299.95 via check, cash, or money order along with their address will be sent the gameboard, complete rules for play, costumes, playing pieces (including Ziggy), one die, and several peculiar children. Sockpaws(TM) is all you need for a festive family game night!


Back to the Basics said...

I would send you the money for this fantastic sounding game, only we use light SABERS not

Anonymous said...

I have played this game with you! But you said we were census workers and that the children would be "hardened against an unfeeling world" if we played with them extra-specialy roughly. Oh, it all ended it tears, no doubt...but a swell time!