Sunday, December 9, 2007

The Same 10 Questions Today's Guest Blogger Has Never Really Asked Himself Before

Party Pony out getting provisons...snow growing thick...whiskey very heavy. Carry on, Biggles!
Q: What are you wearing?
A: It's cold, fer Chrissakes! Pants, shirt, fleece, socks, boots. Parka, gloves and hat nearby. Colors? Black, dark green, dark blue, tan mebbe. I have a Stormy Kroeger hat if the wind picks up and the slush starts dumpin' out of the sky.
Q: What is the nature of today's intelligence/security flap?
A: Toss-up between last week's revisionist NIE and the destruction of tapes from interrogation sessions. Also, I'm interested in that Iranian general who vanished last year visiting Turkey. Also, the new Chinese subs are pretty startling, not to mention their twin-rotor attack helicopter. Pakistan is always an issue. And what is the formidable Mr. Putin doing right now, this very minute? Nothing real wonderful, I shouldn't think. Chap like that bears watching, mark my words.
Q: Any tracks in the snow?
A: Yes, by jimminy! Looks like a rabbit...a big, loping bunny of some kind. If it gets to Harvey-size I'll let you know.
Q: Economic forecast?
A: Well, de money she come, and de money she go, eh? But if ya pinned me down: Recession in three months, general uneasiness in the bond market, growing discontent and open class warfare next year, rioting and looting for a month, the Second Coming, and of course the end of the world in December of 2012, as per the finish of the Mayan calendar.
Q: How do you do what you do?
A: Just read everything, know everything, connect the dots, and keep it under my hat. Also, I drive defensively.
Q: How do you deal with the lack of sunlight?
A: Read a lot, and write new songs. Imagine a sun.
Q: What do you think of New Ro?
A: Some of the people are great! And access to marine hardware is unparalleled. I like it when the fog rolls in off Long Island Sound, and of course when it's clear and the wind is right, the chance to study final approach to LaGuardia is one-of-a-kind! Wheels down! Full flaps! Add some power!
Q: Has your heart softened towards the lovable creatures that inhabit the Rankin/Bass universe?
A: Hardly. But at least Clarice isn't a bitch to Rudolph. And of Rankin/Bass, one can pay them the ultimate insult: they meant well.
Q: Are you really a suitable replacement for the Party Pony?
A: Nope! Nobody thinks or write like that! Plus, birthday parties give me the pip. There'd be some nipping and kicking. Don't like my hair braided. Rrrfgh!
Q: Is it true that you can do magic?
A: Every day is magic...just taking the ride is an act of faith.

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