Wednesday, August 1, 2007

And so it follows...

People drive down my street in riced-out krap cars at 75 mph with NO MUFFLERS.
The same people need to be egged, heavily, with eggs that may or may not be organic.
If I egg them, I will need to buy more eggs.
I will also be arrested and will have to pay a steep fine.
Additionally, if I buy too many eggs, I will have less money than I need.
If I have less money, I will not be able to move from this house and go to a place where people drive sedately down quiet, tree-lined, well-groomed, lovely streets.
My children will go to lousy public schools and will become murderers and thieves.
I will spend too much time on my porch drinking wine, and my liver will swell up and engulf my brain.
My ankles will swell up, too.
I will become known as "that eggy old lady."
I will die in this house a broken, embittered old bat still pining for Potatoe, my lost cat.
Trump will buy my lot and erect another overpriced luxury highrise.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Yo, Egg Lady. I just want you to know I drive down your street on my way to a beautiful tree-lined street in Larchmont where I terrorize people who pay higher taxes. I'm an equal opportunity kinda guy.