Monday, August 27, 2007

Lexicon of Cute Toddler Food Names

In the " so cute" category. Herewith, my lexicon of healthy foods prepared for toddlers.

Purple Crunchies: Red Cabbage
Sunshine Sticks: Carrots
Dinosaur Trees: Broccoli
Bunny Food: Lettuce
The Pea Family: Peas on a spoon
Sunshine Nubbins on a Stick: Corn on the cob
Little Red Balls of Fun: Grape Tomatoes
Baby Trees: Asparagus spears
Turtle Shells: Halved brussels sprouts


Pig circles: Pepperoni
Pig-circle pie: pepperoni pizza
Pig strips: Bacon
Mister Nuggets: Any free-roaming chicken, avec feathers
Gobble Meat: Turkey
Moo-Moo Cow: a burger
Flat cow: a steak
Silence of the Lambs: Mutton
Dead cow in the clouds, with the pea family in an exploded zeppelin: Shepherd's pie
Purple Crunchy Pig Strip Surprise: Red cabbage and bacon

Once, at a child's birthday party, Esteemed Husband went to the "adults' table" to suss out the sandwich offerings. He returned and announced :"Yeah, honey, they have turkey and cheese or PIG CIRCLES." People near us were visibly and deeply offended.

And the other night we were reading "Baby Animals on the Farm" (aka "Baby Animals on Your Plate") we asked our elder child, "Does it bother you at all that chicken nuggets come from chickens?" He said, "Mmmm, chicken!". When we explained that the chicken did not lay the nuggets like eggs, he got a funny look on his face. Hrhrmm. Not so much.

Then: "Mmmm, chicken!". Baby is an omnivore!


Anonymous said...

Great food & toddler notes, by an expert. That poor pea family--riding to their doom on many an outing! I think we all know that feeling...

Frequent Reader

Anonymous said...

Harrumph! "Pig circles," my Aunt Fannie! We refer you to our recent PR campaign, "From Lard to Love: You and Your Toppings."

The Pepperoni Council

Anonymous said...

Wait. There's absolutely no fecal matter in today's posting. What's the problem? Things a little backed up in that department? (Why not call the pig circles something like baby logs?)

Jenny Phresh said...

Hurrah! SAS learned how to leave a post! Kudos, my friend.