Sunday, August 5, 2007

Area H and the Alarming Floating Turd

A new trick! I am going to try to tell my entire story of the weekend in VT through song titles alone. You can provide the music. Some song titles will contain annotated explanations for the uniniated.

CD 1: Why Don't I Live In Vermont? [Sufjan Stevens, where art thou?]

Track 1: Gotta Get a Job (in Vermont)
Track 2: I Work Remote, So Why Can't I live in Vermont?
Track 3: Investment Opportunities (an instrumental)
Track 4: Brother Egg's Omelet Emporium
[Our new business. My husband makes a damn good omelet. Why not in VT?]
Track 5: Throwin' Rocks in a Bucket of Water
[What we do in VT for fun]
Track 6: Pine Noodle Soup
[What my toddlers made with a bucket of water, fresh organic weeds, and pine needles]
Track 7: Rubber Chicken Drives a Train
[A guitar/singing jam with toddlers during which a rubber chicken ends up as a train engineer. Things are weird when one is under 4 years old.]
Track 8: "I Want That Gril"
[An ode to Hannah, age 18, from a 3 1/2 year old boy. A direct quote made as he managed to plunge his hands down the front of her shirt.]

CD 2: Area H and the Alarming Floating Turd

Track 1: Our Campsite Is the Place Where Backwoods Murders Happen
[Area H is extremely unpleasant. We fear death. We mix strong drinks. We request a new campsite.]
Track 2: Relocation # 5
{We get a new campsite, an RV one! White trash style! There's water and even electricity, and it's by the pond!]
Track 3: There's a turd in the water (and it's human!)
{We go swimming and see that something else is in the water, too.]
Track 4: Scoop it Up in a Bucket, Silvie
Track 5: Pour the Turd in the Woods, Silvie
Track 6: Hot Delmonico Steak
[What we had for dinner. It rocked.]
Track 7: When the Chair Tips Over, Jenny Falls Down
Track 8: The Boys Go Quiet in the Tent
[The first time camping proves to be quite difficult for sleepy little ones.]
Track 9: 3:00 a.m. Raccoon Invader Stomp
[Something is getting into the garbage. I scare it away with my super high-beam headlamp!]
Track 10: We Forgot to Pack Breakfast: S'Mores for Breakfast


Anonymous said...

SEE! It is a scary state! Where did you go/stay?

Anonymous said...

Wait -- you all must understand. Hannah -- that 18 year old, very beautiful gril once did exactly what your German changeling child is now doing -- relieving herself of a poopy diaper and enjoying the tactile pleasures of crib rails in concert with a soft, if not, hot buttered turd. In fact, she once went into a tent at the Dartmouth Co-op (an old store in Hanover that sold skis, camping supplies, etc.), discarded her diaper and spread poop around the tent, had to be hauled out wrapped in her brother's blankey -- many paper towels later and a gracious salesperson -- wow -- can you imagine? Raising children has a lot of excrement involved. One gets used to it.

from TJK

Has Sam figured out how to post a comment